My life

Tired

2009-09-28T02:20:41Z

I really can't wait for this year to be over. I love my job and the people I work with, and I love my Mom and sister, but I hate only seeing Andy once a month. This weekend was the first time I've seen him since we got engaged, and I won't see him again until the 30th of October. Lord only knows when I'll see him in November, December or January, considering the people that he'll be fighting with for time off because of the holidays and winter break, then January I can't get off work because it is another campaign month. I really can't wait to move, we are looking into buying a house, either by this summer or definitely before the wedding (So my credit doesn't screw us up, he'll get the loan while we are single, and we'll add my name later). I also can't wait to start wedding planning for real, even though its going to be a pain trying to manage the teeny budget with the huge guest list and wedding party. Sigh.

So...

2009-08-29T04:26:40Z

I am ENGAGED!!!!!!!! And graduating in May. And ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!

dragonlover1445 @ 2009-07-18T12:14:00

2009-07-18T16:19:21Z

Well home is going ok. I still haven't found a job yet but some bday money from the family saved me by covering all my bills this month and gave me some more time to look. I do have an interview on Monday but it is at a slightly sketchy gas station/convenience store in a very sketchy area and I'm not sure I'm comfortable working there. Some more options at a restaurant and at the Y have opened up so I'm applying there on Monday. I decided to use some of the bday money to visit Andy this weekend, even though I've only been gone about a week. I really missed him, and I don't want to go back on Sunday. I can't wait for him to visit me so I can show him around my home town. Well, off to get ready to go see Harry Potter with him!

Moving

2009-07-04T17:19:09Z

Only two days left before moving time. I'm so sad. My going away party was last night, and it was great but it made me even sadder about going. I'm going to miss everyone, and I'm going to miss my independence. I think my mom still doesn't see me as an adult even after living on my own for a year and turning 23 in July. I know we are going to fight constantly, but honestly she can't treat me like a child, I'm an adult. I have to deal with it to a point because I am under her roof and I need her help, but that is only to a point. This is a bad idea honestly, but I need the help. I can't wait to save up enough money, finish my degree and get back out on my own. I want an apartment all to myself, even if it is a studio apartment where I can have my cat back. (before andy's mom declaws him). I want a 9-5 job with weekends off in an office while I work on getting my master's. Then I want a comm. college teaching job while I work on getting my doctorate.

(apparently this has become Heather whining about life time)

I should get back to packing so that I can go swimming with Tabitha later. I'm so tired of packing.

Sad

2009-06-27T04:14:58Z

I only have until Tuesday with Perry. That drive home is going to be the longest and saddest ever. We took him to the vet and got him checked out, it was fleas. The vet told us what we were doing wrong, gave him a cortisone shot and the advantage drip thing to help him out. I really don't want this weekend to end, because Monday night is my last night at home with him.

Update

2009-06-18T18:22:04Z

So I got a forbearance on my Sallie Mae loans, I'm looking for the deferrment papers for my Gov't loans and am waiting for information on my other loans. My credit cards are set up to be paid off soon as well, I'm packing more today to leave for home on the 6th, preparing my resume for a receptionist job at a law firm at home and found a home for Perry. All this in one week. WHEW.

Andy's Mom is taking Perry for me, so if I get back on my own soon enough I may have the option of getting him back from her. Even if she falls in love and doesn't want to give him back I will get to see him again and know that he is in a good home and not being butchered by the evil shelter people. That's a major relief. The forbearance means that my wages (or lack thereof since I wont have a job come the 30th) won't be garnished and I won't go to jail.

I'm really hoping that Longwood takes me back as a student, I submitted my readmit application Monday and should know hopefully by the beginning of July. I need to know before July 15th since that is the last day to register for the Tolkien class I want/need to take. If I can take that class and one in the fall I'll be done in December. I dont know if I'm going to walk in May yet, I probably have to for my parents to be happy.

We have to take Perry to the Vet tomorrow to get a check-up and to get his sores checked out. They started after the last trip to the Vet's office, and I think it is because he has flea problems. I can't afford the vet medication for fleas and getting rid of them is freaking impossible without those. He has had three baths in four weeks and been flea powdered like five times. He now has a collar and that has helped, but the poor thing has bald spots... He still eats, drinks and plays like normal so I really think its the flea thing.

Andy and I are still going strong and working out everything that caused the big fight. Im going to miss him when I move though :-(

Back to School

2009-06-10T16:14:33Z

So. I will be moving back in with my Mother on July 7th. This will allow me to begin paying off my debt and stay out of jail. I also got a surprise when I talked to my Dad about it...since he is no longer helping with rent (rent free at mom's) He is paying for my last two classes of undergrad!! He's paying all fees and paying for my books as well. I can begin in July with the 400 level english I have to take since there is one offered online, then finish in the Fall with a 200 level world English. (Any two credits will work, and it HAS to be online since I have to stay with my Mom while he does this). So as of December 2009 I will be a college graduate FINALLY. I'm hoping to be able to get a 9-5 job and move to Norfolk area by next July. I think my failure to find work like that was because I don't have a degree, so they took people that did even if they didn't have the 4 years of experience that I do. I go to the Registrar's office today to register for the July class!

My life sucks

2009-04-26T06:10:18Z

I hate my life so much. I do have good things in it don't get me wrong, but everything else is just shit. I can't get a decent job so I can't even afford my rent. I can't even afford to get my cat all his shots. I suck at my job, I work so hard and I still screw everything up all the time. Tonight was horrible, I just kept making mistake after mistake. I don't get a day off until wednesday, but hopefully the next three days won't be so crazy. The worst part is that if I hadn't switched cuts I would have been home hours ago, and would have been able to get food after work. But no, I thought I'd get more money and be a nice person so I switched, and now I am just getting home at 2am. I better not get a knock on my door tomorrow morning about giving someone a ride to work, because I'm not answering it. I'm fucking exhausted and I cried a little at work so my head is pounding. I would love my job so much if I could just do it properly and not be such a screw up. I can't do anything right, I can't graduate, can't live on my own, can't take care of a cat, can't get a decent job and can't do the job I do have. I'm just a waste of air and space, just like my dad thinks.

Not that it matters since we are all going to die from swine flu anyway.

dragonlover1445 @ 2009-04-20T01:36:00

2009-04-20T05:38:14Z

Happy Founder's Day Sigma Sigma Sigma!

dragonlover1445 @ 2009-04-20T01:29:00

2009-04-20T05:33:40Z

I'm so frustrated. 2 classes. TWO classes. That is all that is between me and a Bachelor of Arts degree. WHY CAN'T I JUST GRADUATE!?!?!? It makes me die a little inside to know that there is an amazing job at longwood I'd be perfect for that would solve many problems, that I can't get because I don't have my degree. It hurts to see how everyone is so excited about classes ending next week and graduation coming up, knowing that I should have finished a year ago. If I could just get the finaid, it's only 1200 dollars (maybe 13 or 1400 now, but still) I just want my degree. And a chance at my Masters.

GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

dragonlover1445 @ 2009-01-15T17:21:00

2009-01-15T22:22:20Z

I can't find a job, and I'm going to get kicked out of my apartment and people are going to harass my grandma for money she doesn't have either. Times like this I wish that I'd succeeded this summer.

dragonlover1445 @ 2009-01-11T01:46:00

2009-01-11T06:53:49Z

I'm still really bored, but oh well. I've been making better money, or rather, been taking better care of my money lately. Giving it to Andy to hold for me has helped keep me from spending it, therefore making it easier for me to pay my bills. I've been sewing more, and working on something special, which I can hopefully use to rekindle a friendship I miss a lot. I'm going to a concert next Sunday with Andy, and that should be a lot of fun. His birthday is coming up and I've been working on something for him too...which i won't go into detail on since he can find and read this. NICE TRY HONEY. lol. I've been experimenting with cooking, and found/made up some pretty nice recipes that we actually enjoy. I'm trying to make us eat healthier, but we can only change what we eat to a certain degree due to money issues. I really need a second job. Don't get me wrong, I love Macados a lot, but I need better money. I really hope that we can find a place in Va Beach in time for me to start applying for jobs so I can find one before we move. Sigh. Life is complicated. I need to have more fun...

Life

2009-01-04T02:50:56Z

Haven't posted in a long time.

Life is pretty boring lately, mostly work and just chillin around the house. Andy got me a Wii for Xmas, but even that is losing its luster with no one to play it with except him. I don't really work a lot, but that just makes it more boring. I love my job, though I'm not making nearly enough money and I need something steadier. Dad's been paying the rent for the past 3 months or so. Hopefully I'll be able to find a job in Norfolk/Va Beach/Hampton Roads before we move in June. We still need to find a place to move to. We are thinking of asking a friend to move in with us to a two bedroom since that'll be cheaper, but Andy keeps forgetting to bring it up. I may have to do it myself...
Andy is the only person I hang out with lately. I have friends at work but that is just at work really. Usually just play the Wii, sew or clean at home lately. I'd prolly do more if I made more money, because every cent I make has to go toward rent/car insurance or food for the cat. Andy buys most of our meals except when I have a little extra to buy food with.
I miss being able to hang out with people and have fun, but real life got in the way for almost everyone. Other things got in the way as far as some people go.
Meh. Life goes on. Maybe things'll get better when we move. For one thing Andy and I will share rent instead of both having 300 a month to pay, and I might be able to get a better job. We'll see.

dragonlover1445 @ 2008-06-30T02:20:00

2008-06-30T06:19:48Z

I don't understand why I can't find a simple job. Anything will do at this point!!! I really don't want to have to stay with my Dad for the rest of the summer just so I can pay rent! I won't even get to Graduate in August like I planned just because I can't afford the classes...This blows. Life is so hard now, I don't know what to do. I'm bored and lonely too, all my friends are home for the summer...Andy is great but I need my female friends too.

dragonlover1445 @ 2008-05-10T17:35:00

2008-05-10T21:38:42Z

So I will never live on campus again. I have officially moved out of my apartment, and am 5 credits (two online summer classes) away from Graduating. I will be walking next spring to appease my family, not that I will care that much about it by then. Longwood is almost over, it is so sad.

I still don't have a job, but I have a car with insurance and an apartment to pay for....at least the apartment doesn't start charging til July, and I have money for insurance for 3 more months. Sigh. Bills suck.

dragonlover1445 @ 2008-03-21T10:26:00

2008-03-21T14:30:50Z

Dont remember if I posted this or not, but my Mom's cancer was a false alarm, the ER doctor saw scarring from childbirth and misdiagnosed it.

I've been taking care of Andy because he has the flu really bad, his temp won't go down below 99 for more than a few hours when he is asleep and he can't stop the pain in his tummy or the feeling like he is gonna throw up, and he has diarrhea really bad. His temp changes from 99 to 102 and back, which is worrisome.

The worst part of this other than my being exhausted and bored from being in his room constantly and taking care of him is that I think I might have caught it, which is just great.

This'll be my second flu this semester, joy.

On top of that, I absolutely can NOT miss any classes or I'll fail, so I have to go and hope that I can not throw up or other unpleasant things during class. Joy.

Is the semester over yet?

dragonlover1445 @ 2008-02-07T20:36:00

2008-02-08T01:36:45Z

Found out today that my mom has cervical cancer. I'm scared, worried and upset.

Senior Seminar!

2007-11-30T01:51:09Z

I HAVE 3 PAGES OF MY SENIOR THESIS DONE!!! Can you tell I'm excited about it??? The sad thing is that I found out I can go to Cocktails, but at the same time I can't becuase I have this paper to work on. It is the most important paper of my undergraduate academic career, so I'm kinda stuck working on that instead. But if I am still with Andy when Ball time comes around I know he'll go with me, so that makes me happy. I can't wait for this paper to be done...it has to be 8 pages (or more) and I have to present it on Saturday in front of the ENTIRE ENGLISH FACULTY. It is scary. I get to revise it after the conference before turning it in for final grading, but I want it perfect for the conference. I want to prove my worth as an English Major, which I don't feel I've done a very good job of this semester. Oh well, time to stop procrastinating and get back to work.

Lots of coffee tonight and tomorrow....

Lonely

2007-11-10T04:02:42Z

I miss Sigma soo much. I know I didn't have a choice, becuase of the money situation, but I miss it. I know I couldn't handle the time it takes, or the drama, but I miss the social aspect of it. I'm not going to get to go to Cocktails, even if I could according to Sigma my boyfriend doesn't have anything he could wear and he wouldn't enjoy it anyway. I know it hasn't happened yet only because Jordan hasn't mentioned it. I'm fighting with Meghan a lot and I hate it. I miss hanging out with her. I'm so bored right now. I really want to go out to a frat party, but I don't know of any and Meghan isn't here to go with me. I wish I had more friends, well I do, but they don't like to party the way I do.

dragonlover1445 @ 2007-09-25T09:04:00

2007-09-25T13:06:22Z

Holy crap a lot has happened. I am now dating Andy, which makes me very very happy. I feel bad about dating him because of Kelly, but I've talked to her and she is mostly ok with it. Also Mike and I had a fight, but we talked it over and are ok. My grandmother had a heart attack on Tuesday night, and had surgery at Henrico Doctor's Hospital wednesday, so I had a very long week. I stayed up late on Tuesday with Meghan doin stuff, then got up for work at 11 on weds. I went to lunch with Andy then work. Then I get a call from Mom telling me that Mommom will be in the hospital in Richmond, which I could easily visit her at. Meghan and I make the plans and head out to the hospital, getting there at around 4/4:30ish. we hang out for a bit then find out that Mom isnt coming til the morning and my Uncle isnt coming at all, leaving me to be there for Mommom. Meg and I go get dinner, which takes us about 2 and a half hours becuase I suck at navigating. So then we come back from dinner and it takes us 20 mins... Then we visited Mommom for about another hour or so, and then we came back here, cuz we both just wanted to be home. Then I talked to Mike and we resolved our problem. Then we all go to walmart, then I finally go to bed. The next morning we get up and go to the hospital again. Mommom got through the surgery fine, and Meg and I got home around 6:30. Then she went off to do something and I hung out with Andy. She accidently left her phone at the hospital though, and they found it the next morning. So her mom calls me to try to find her, and I try, and we try to figure out how to get the phone back to her, and she decides for mom to leave it at the hospital, but no one could get ahold of mom, and the nurse told her to take it, and mommom was in a hurry so she took it. Meghan's Mom got really pissed at my mom and me and Meghan and made meghan drive to my house to get the phone. we had four hours to make a 6 hour drive. we made it in four and a half, but meghan was late for work. It was scary and stressful, but we survived. I've had four really long days in a row, but i got some rest today finally. Meghan's friends are coming to visit and we are going to hang out and drink tonight, so that'll be fun. well I'm gonna head to the shower so i can shave so i can swim. See ya later!

dragonlover1445 @ 2007-09-12T01:27:00

2007-09-12T05:28:14Z

dragonlover1445 @ 2007-09-09T23:22:00

2007-09-10T03:23:07Z

i dont want to feel anymore

dragonlover1445 @ 2007-09-06T16:32:00

2007-09-06T20:33:45Z

As my tears run crimson
I can't help but wonder
will ever the pain be enough
or will I go under

Down under the surface
deep inside my skin
my life's blood runs freely
spreading throughout within

A drop of poison enters
just one, but it is enough
it flows inside the blood
the current becomes rough

I have to get it out
get the poison far from me
as my blood runs out i know
I will never be free

dragonlover1445 @ 2007-08-25T08:30:00

2007-08-25T12:33:03Z

So I am back at school finally. I have never been so glad to be here in my life. My Dad's stuck up ways were driving me nuts, and I had to get away fromt the confines of that house. The last ten minutes of the car ride here were pure torture, and all I wanted to do was yell at him and tell him to fuck off, but of course I couldnt. Now freedom can happen, and I can make my own choices again. It is about time. I'm going out with my friends tonight to Macados, which is going to be a blast. I can't wait. :)

dragonlover1445 @ 2007-08-14T00:45:00

2007-08-14T04:47:00Z

so if i dont get called in tomorrow i only have one more day of work left...SAwEET